what it's like to go insane...

hard to describe the tingle
that creeps up around you
that feeling of undcertainty
that seems to thoroughly
encompass your entire body
and your very being
you can feel
the heat rise within you
starting at your feet
like walking on coals
working its way
up to your knees
where everything becomes wobbly
you shake and stir a bit
and hold on to something
or to someone
for balance...dear sweet balance
you grasp into thin air
for some kind of assurance
that gravity is still in play
then you feel it
somewhere around the groin
the opposite of arousal
like something has gone rotten
right down at your very core
you cramp and you ache
and become increasingly testy
and then the bubbles start
in your stomach
jumping up and down
a lost butterfly
stuck in a cage
and you feel all the squirming
twisting and turning
as if someone had their hand in there
clenching their fist
and you shudder some more
as you feel your chest beat
a dark and stirring echo
boom boom BOOM!
you wrap your hands around your shoulders
and try to remain still
but your body keeps bopping
up and down
as if dance to the tune
of a wild eyed wolf
your throat is dry
and very scratchy
as you try to speak
try to cry for help
but all that comes out
if an awkward squeal
as your eyes bulge out
and your tongue grows
three times its size inside your mouth
so hard to breathe it is
and the fear that makes your face blush
tastes like a cold hard metal
at first nauseating
and yet...somewhat quickly
becoming a comfort to you
as your mind pops
in and out of conciousness
fast then slow then fast fast fast
as if blipping out
some crazy morse code
with all the elements
and all the events
of your little life
playing back at you
like a huge collage
tied to the top of your head
and the head so spins
round and round and round
a merry-go-round of colored horses
red gray pink blue green
purple even
the music of the calliope gets louder
and more frantic
as the horses speed up
in perfect tune
with the BOOM BOOM BOOM
and you hold on to your little head
to keep it all in
even though you are well aware
that it must be spilling out
just everywhere
and you without a mop
and then you fall into a corner
and you try to make peace with the ground
that has so betrayed you before
and you spout off just sooo many things
in your jibberish whispurrs
and sirens ring in your head
and you feel warm arms
reach out to grab yours
and the blinking red and blue
is all over your world
as you hear the engine rev way up
and you speed away into the night.