i don't have a butt!

this may seem so vulgar
and without so much class
it's hard to be snooty
when you don't have an ass!

so hard to just sit down
and when backward you pounce
fall flat as a pancake
there's nothing there to bounce!

no cushion for pushing
and no junk in the trunk
yet no noise from farting
hey...no smelly ole funk!

the pros and the cons yes
are way too long to list
there's no booty to bop round
i think you get the gist!

no whistles from sailors
at my shapely round form
no fat cells on fat cells
to keep my backside warm!

just but a scant straight line
where a butt should have been
no rubb'ry white orbs there
on which to sit and spin!

i sit on a toilet
and i fall right on through
gets me wet a little
and it makes me so blue!

for men don't make passes
at guys with no asses
specially when so big nosed
with thick framed black glasses!

so i'll leave you right now
no fuss no...i won't shout
no ass will hit no door
as i make my way out!

if you have a big butt
so robust and cheeky
please don't rub it on in
don't try to be sneaky!

for i have no butt no
guess this much is so true
that i'll never smell quite then
as badly as you do!

(have a happy day with that nice ass, honey!)