Saturday, December 11, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
drops of wine
i drink from a glass
half empty to most
but when you don't know better
the wine is just as sweet
the tickle just the same
as it swishes round your mouth
deep rich taste of grapes
so tantalizing to the palate
so drinkable i absorb it
every last little drop
a connection to my soul
and it warms me just the same
there's a lot that can be said
for a little intoxication
a little happiness
better than none at all...right?
so i will savor its flavor
as it wrestles my senses
and slides down my throat
to become yet another part
of this thing that i am
yes you may look down
when you see my little glass
with pity and sadness
at the poor soul
who has so very little
but not me
i look up
as i drink my wine
and i taste the sky...
half empty to most
but when you don't know better
the wine is just as sweet
the tickle just the same
as it swishes round your mouth
deep rich taste of grapes
so tantalizing to the palate
so drinkable i absorb it
every last little drop
a connection to my soul
and it warms me just the same
there's a lot that can be said
for a little intoxication
a little happiness
better than none at all...right?
so i will savor its flavor
as it wrestles my senses
and slides down my throat
to become yet another part
of this thing that i am
yes you may look down
when you see my little glass
with pity and sadness
at the poor soul
who has so very little
but not me
i look up
as i drink my wine
and i taste the sky...
Saturday, November 27, 2010
mad bitch on the loose!
oh hide that ole gander
and then hide that ole goose
i'm a crazy lady
mad bitch on the loose!
i scream in all the streets
whilst i poof up my hair
i can make a nice kite
out of your underwear!
cover you with kisses
with some whore red lipstick
i'll tell you i love you
and then call you a prick!
i'll slap all of your friends
with such creamy wet pies
then sob out i'm sorry
through my crocodile eyes!
i'll dance with you madly
on through sunsets so bright
cuff you to your bed then
and bid you a good night!
and somehow you'll love me
through all of my big mess
and tell me you're sorry
as you creep up my dress!
and i'll smack you right through
a big window of glass
watch you hit cold pavement
land so flat on your ass!
cause i am the woman
who you don't wanna fuck
cause ya look at me wrong
and you're shit out of luck!
yes guard that ole gander
and mind that goofy goose
i'm one crazy lady
mad bitch on the loose!
and then hide that ole goose
i'm a crazy lady
mad bitch on the loose!
i scream in all the streets
whilst i poof up my hair
i can make a nice kite
out of your underwear!
cover you with kisses
with some whore red lipstick
i'll tell you i love you
and then call you a prick!
i'll slap all of your friends
with such creamy wet pies
then sob out i'm sorry
through my crocodile eyes!
i'll dance with you madly
on through sunsets so bright
cuff you to your bed then
and bid you a good night!
and somehow you'll love me
through all of my big mess
and tell me you're sorry
as you creep up my dress!
and i'll smack you right through
a big window of glass
watch you hit cold pavement
land so flat on your ass!
cause i am the woman
who you don't wanna fuck
cause ya look at me wrong
and you're shit out of luck!
yes guard that ole gander
and mind that goofy goose
i'm one crazy lady
mad bitch on the loose!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
back on the horse...
well...went back out to the horse farm today and took more pics so here ya go!!!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
what it's like to go insane...
hard to describe the tingle
that creeps up around you
that feeling of undcertainty
that seems to thoroughly
encompass your entire body
and your very being
you can feel
the heat rise within you
starting at your feet
like walking on coals
working its way
up to your knees
where everything becomes wobbly
you shake and stir a bit
and hold on to something
or to someone
for balance...dear sweet balance
you grasp into thin air
for some kind of assurance
that gravity is still in play
then you feel it
somewhere around the groin
the opposite of arousal
like something has gone rotten
right down at your very core
you cramp and you ache
and become increasingly testy
and then the bubbles start
in your stomach
jumping up and down
a lost butterfly
stuck in a cage
and you feel all the squirming
twisting and turning
as if someone had their hand in there
clenching their fist
and you shudder some more
as you feel your chest beat
a dark and stirring echo
boom boom BOOM!
you wrap your hands around your shoulders
and try to remain still
but your body keeps bopping
up and down
as if dance to the tune
of a wild eyed wolf
your throat is dry
and very scratchy
as you try to speak
try to cry for help
but all that comes out
if an awkward squeal
as your eyes bulge out
and your tongue grows
three times its size inside your mouth
so hard to breathe it is
and the fear that makes your face blush
tastes like a cold hard metal
at first nauseating
and yet...somewhat quickly
becoming a comfort to you
as your mind pops
in and out of conciousness
fast then slow then fast fast fast
as if blipping out
some crazy morse code
with all the elements
and all the events
of your little life
playing back at you
like a huge collage
tied to the top of your head
and the head so spins
round and round and round
a merry-go-round of colored horses
red gray pink blue green
purple even
the music of the calliope gets louder
and more frantic
as the horses speed up
in perfect tune
with the BOOM BOOM BOOM
and you hold on to your little head
to keep it all in
even though you are well aware
that it must be spilling out
just everywhere
and you without a mop
and then you fall into a corner
and you try to make peace with the ground
that has so betrayed you before
and you spout off just sooo many things
in your jibberish whispurrs
and sirens ring in your head
and you feel warm arms
reach out to grab yours
and the blinking red and blue
is all over your world
as you hear the engine rev way up
and you speed away into the night.
that creeps up around you
that feeling of undcertainty
that seems to thoroughly
encompass your entire body
and your very being
you can feel
the heat rise within you
starting at your feet
like walking on coals
working its way
up to your knees
where everything becomes wobbly
you shake and stir a bit
and hold on to something
or to someone
for balance...dear sweet balance
you grasp into thin air
for some kind of assurance
that gravity is still in play
then you feel it
somewhere around the groin
the opposite of arousal
like something has gone rotten
right down at your very core
you cramp and you ache
and become increasingly testy
and then the bubbles start
in your stomach
jumping up and down
a lost butterfly
stuck in a cage
and you feel all the squirming
twisting and turning
as if someone had their hand in there
clenching their fist
and you shudder some more
as you feel your chest beat
a dark and stirring echo
boom boom BOOM!
you wrap your hands around your shoulders
and try to remain still
but your body keeps bopping
up and down
as if dance to the tune
of a wild eyed wolf
your throat is dry
and very scratchy
as you try to speak
try to cry for help
but all that comes out
if an awkward squeal
as your eyes bulge out
and your tongue grows
three times its size inside your mouth
so hard to breathe it is
and the fear that makes your face blush
tastes like a cold hard metal
at first nauseating
and yet...somewhat quickly
becoming a comfort to you
as your mind pops
in and out of conciousness
fast then slow then fast fast fast
as if blipping out
some crazy morse code
with all the elements
and all the events
of your little life
playing back at you
like a huge collage
tied to the top of your head
and the head so spins
round and round and round
a merry-go-round of colored horses
red gray pink blue green
purple even
the music of the calliope gets louder
and more frantic
as the horses speed up
in perfect tune
with the BOOM BOOM BOOM
and you hold on to your little head
to keep it all in
even though you are well aware
that it must be spilling out
just everywhere
and you without a mop
and then you fall into a corner
and you try to make peace with the ground
that has so betrayed you before
and you spout off just sooo many things
in your jibberish whispurrs
and sirens ring in your head
and you feel warm arms
reach out to grab yours
and the blinking red and blue
is all over your world
as you hear the engine rev way up
and you speed away into the night.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
whispurr unleashed...
some crazy recent whispurrtweets...
so who has the cajones to turn me on in open twitter?
abraham the mule sez: beware a vagina with teeth that breathes fire...
haiku...so hung like a horse...try to look sexy and stuff...swat flies with my tail...
i remember college in the eighties...back when i had a perm...back when i had hair...
good evening giant penis lovers...your main course has arrived...
BOOBIES! BOOBIES! BOOBIES! BOOBIES! BOOBIES! BOOBIES! BOOBIES! BOOBIES! BOOBIES!!!! WOO HOO!...wtf?
follow me...it's the best way to try and find my ass...
would you kindly quit looking up my dress, please??? the NERVE of some people!!!
haiku: with nipples so big...slutty girl pulls her top off...and out spills sour milk...
if my tweets start to not make any sense, try talking to the other end...
piss me off pay the consequences...piss on me and well..i'll have to think whether i wanna be that kinky or not..
hello there, my little monkeys...please bring forth all your bananas!!!
this year for christmas, i'm giving out brazilian waxes...just have to figure out how to fit them in a stocking...
abarham the mule sez...if you can't be with somebody fuckable, put a bag over their head and fuck the one you're with...
i'm hung like one and ready for some fun, bitch!!!
follow me and try and hop on...maybe i'll give you a ride...
if you think i'm going to stop tweeting cause you're ignoring me...think again! here go the pants!!!
how many half naked men will i have to tweet to get everybody's attention...gimme a ballpark figure...hee hee...i said "ball!"
hello...my name is whispurr...i am innocence, purity and wholesomeness personafied...so you best not fucking swear at me, ya dig?
so who has the cajones to turn me on in open twitter?
abraham the mule sez: beware a vagina with teeth that breathes fire...
haiku...so hung like a horse...try to look sexy and stuff...swat flies with my tail...
i remember college in the eighties...back when i had a perm...back when i had hair...
i'm the pbs of tweeters...only high class upper crust vulgarity here...
good evening giant penis lovers...your main course has arrived...
BOOBIES! BOOBIES! BOOBIES! BOOBIES! BOOBIES! BOOBIES! BOOBIES! BOOBIES! BOOBIES!!!! WOO HOO!...wtf?
follow me...it's the best way to try and find my ass...
would you kindly quit looking up my dress, please??? the NERVE of some people!!!
haiku: with nipples so big...slutty girl pulls her top off...and out spills sour milk...
if my tweets start to not make any sense, try talking to the other end...
piss me off pay the consequences...piss on me and well..i'll have to think whether i wanna be that kinky or not..
hello there, my little monkeys...please bring forth all your bananas!!!
this year for christmas, i'm giving out brazilian waxes...just have to figure out how to fit them in a stocking...
abarham the mule sez...if you can't be with somebody fuckable, put a bag over their head and fuck the one you're with...
i'm hung like one and ready for some fun, bitch!!!
i hope you all prayed for me in church this morning...i know i wasn't thinking of any of you when i was masturbating...
Saturday, November 13, 2010
horse so free
Today was an interesting day...we took a visit to the Southern Style Stables just outside Conway, South Carolina. The stable takes in abused and neglected animals of all kinds and gives them a safe place to live their lives peacefully. People who abuse animals, in my opinion, should be shot. How can somebody ever cause harm to such a beautiful and magnificent creature. I really haven't had much experience around horses before today but, after meeting these kind and gentle souls today, I think I can now say that I am a horse lover. They were so sweet!
Anyway...here's some pics I took of the darlings...
horse so free
your mane
it sweeps
through the wind
flapping against
your mighty neck
as you run
through the grass
the sound
of a gentle thunder
building
as you gain speed
and you
belt out
your happy little neigh
as you fly across
the open grasslands
no chains
no fences
nothing to tie
you back
your eyes
so big and brown
telling your
sad story
of the past
when you couldn't
feel the dirt
fly up between
your hooves
when you
weren't so free
and you awoke
each day to
the crack of a whip
and the echoing
of a sinister voice
beating down upon you
those days are gone
and you were saved
stroke of luck
a kind soul found you
and took you away
to a place where
the grass sings out
with the greenness of life
and the air
smells sweetly
of country sunshine
where no hands
are laid upon you
except those of respect
where you are free
to live
to be
to soar!
Monday, November 8, 2010
i don't have a butt!
this may seem so vulgar
and without so much class
it's hard to be snooty
when you don't have an ass!
so hard to just sit down
and when backward you pounce
fall flat as a pancake
there's nothing there to bounce!
no cushion for pushing
and no junk in the trunk
yet no noise from farting
hey...no smelly ole funk!
the pros and the cons yes
are way too long to list
there's no booty to bop round
i think you get the gist!
no whistles from sailors
at my shapely round form
no fat cells on fat cells
to keep my backside warm!
just but a scant straight line
where a butt should have been
no rubb'ry white orbs there
on which to sit and spin!
i sit on a toilet
and i fall right on through
gets me wet a little
and it makes me so blue!
for men don't make passes
at guys with no asses
specially when so big nosed
with thick framed black glasses!
so i'll leave you right now
no fuss no...i won't shout
no ass will hit no door
as i make my way out!
if you have a big butt
so robust and cheeky
please don't rub it on in
don't try to be sneaky!
for i have no butt no
guess this much is so true
that i'll never smell quite then
as badly as you do!
(have a happy day with that nice ass, honey!)
and without so much class
it's hard to be snooty
when you don't have an ass!
so hard to just sit down
and when backward you pounce
fall flat as a pancake
there's nothing there to bounce!
no cushion for pushing
and no junk in the trunk
yet no noise from farting
hey...no smelly ole funk!
the pros and the cons yes
are way too long to list
there's no booty to bop round
i think you get the gist!
no whistles from sailors
at my shapely round form
no fat cells on fat cells
to keep my backside warm!
just but a scant straight line
where a butt should have been
no rubb'ry white orbs there
on which to sit and spin!
i sit on a toilet
and i fall right on through
gets me wet a little
and it makes me so blue!
for men don't make passes
at guys with no asses
specially when so big nosed
with thick framed black glasses!
so i'll leave you right now
no fuss no...i won't shout
no ass will hit no door
as i make my way out!
if you have a big butt
so robust and cheeky
please don't rub it on in
don't try to be sneaky!
for i have no butt no
guess this much is so true
that i'll never smell quite then
as badly as you do!
(have a happy day with that nice ass, honey!)
Saturday, November 6, 2010
when tv shows lose their luster
I was just updating my likes and dislikes on my Facebook account when I noticed I had the NBC series the office on there. Hmmm...I haven't watched that program at all this year and you know what? I haven't missed it! And this used to be one of my favorite shows and now, if I ever see it on television, even the reruns back from when it was good, I change the channel rather quickly.
I guess I'm just kinda disgusted by it now. I hate it when favorite televison shows lose their way like that. I used to find the show to be very fresh and witty, fresh and original but now...it's just blah balh blah!
Oh Michael Scott...when did you lose your way?
I think it was tv guide that coined the term "jumping the shark" which refers to the exact time when a television series loses their luster and goes from being extraordinary TV to just being more of the same. The term comes from the episode of the series "Happy Days" when Fonzie literally had to jump over a shark on his motorcycle or on his surfboard or something. Anyway..after that, it would seem, the show lost its creative spark and never regained it. I think there was even a book about shows "jumping the shark." Sorry...I don't remember the title of it or anything but google "jump the shark" and it's bound to pop up (I'm too lazy to google it for you...sorry, kids!)
Anyhoo...probably the most famous example of this if the episode of "Dallas," which was my favorite series at one time, where Pamela found her dead husband Bobby in her shower, very much alive at the end of one of the seasons...turns out the whole season, including all the plots we've been following ever so closely was "just a dream." What a ripoff that was! I never watched the show after that.
This happens to a lot of good shows...they change producers, writers, main characters and poof! The magic is gone!
Here's a partial list of some of the shows that I had loved at one time that did this, along with the estimated time of their creative demise:
1.) Dallas - TOD (time of demise): the aforementioned shower scene.
2.) Dynasty - TOD : either the Moldavian massacre or Krystal's evil twin...take yer pick.
3.) Will and Grace - TOD: Grace gets married and ruins the lovely fake gay marriage she has with Will.
4.) Ally McBeal - TOD: Billy is killed off...I mean...what the fuck? At least he didn't come back in a shower.
5.) All in The Family - TOD: When Mike and Gloria moved out...what were they thinking?
6.) Charlie's Angels - TOD: When Farrah left the show.
7.) Melrose Place - TOD: When Kimberly blew up the apartment complex, she pretty much blew up the show.
8.) Roseanne - TOD: Roseanne wins the lottery and loses viewers in droves. I mean...did that last season make any sense at all?
and...
9.) The Office - TOD: when Jim and Pam have their baby. When they got married, it was a bad blow, but the wedding episode was so hilarious that I'll let that slide.
So The Office is now dead to me. I certainly hope they don't try to make their situation even worse by continuing the show after Steve Carrell leaves this spring...I mean...what would be the point?
At least I still love Desperate Housewives, but even that is beginning to show signs of flippers. Creator Marc Cherry said at one time that this would be the show's last season. I hope he's right. The episodes are still hailarious and great and all that and it would be nice to see one good long-running show go out on top.
So, alas, I had to take The Office off my favorites list on Facebook. So it goes.
Happy viewing, kiddies!
I guess I'm just kinda disgusted by it now. I hate it when favorite televison shows lose their way like that. I used to find the show to be very fresh and witty, fresh and original but now...it's just blah balh blah!
Oh Michael Scott...when did you lose your way?
I think it was tv guide that coined the term "jumping the shark" which refers to the exact time when a television series loses their luster and goes from being extraordinary TV to just being more of the same. The term comes from the episode of the series "Happy Days" when Fonzie literally had to jump over a shark on his motorcycle or on his surfboard or something. Anyway..after that, it would seem, the show lost its creative spark and never regained it. I think there was even a book about shows "jumping the shark." Sorry...I don't remember the title of it or anything but google "jump the shark" and it's bound to pop up (I'm too lazy to google it for you...sorry, kids!)
Anyhoo...probably the most famous example of this if the episode of "Dallas," which was my favorite series at one time, where Pamela found her dead husband Bobby in her shower, very much alive at the end of one of the seasons...turns out the whole season, including all the plots we've been following ever so closely was "just a dream." What a ripoff that was! I never watched the show after that.
This happens to a lot of good shows...they change producers, writers, main characters and poof! The magic is gone!
Here's a partial list of some of the shows that I had loved at one time that did this, along with the estimated time of their creative demise:
1.) Dallas - TOD (time of demise): the aforementioned shower scene.
2.) Dynasty - TOD : either the Moldavian massacre or Krystal's evil twin...take yer pick.
3.) Will and Grace - TOD: Grace gets married and ruins the lovely fake gay marriage she has with Will.
4.) Ally McBeal - TOD: Billy is killed off...I mean...what the fuck? At least he didn't come back in a shower.
5.) All in The Family - TOD: When Mike and Gloria moved out...what were they thinking?
6.) Charlie's Angels - TOD: When Farrah left the show.
7.) Melrose Place - TOD: When Kimberly blew up the apartment complex, she pretty much blew up the show.
8.) Roseanne - TOD: Roseanne wins the lottery and loses viewers in droves. I mean...did that last season make any sense at all?
and...
9.) The Office - TOD: when Jim and Pam have their baby. When they got married, it was a bad blow, but the wedding episode was so hilarious that I'll let that slide.
So The Office is now dead to me. I certainly hope they don't try to make their situation even worse by continuing the show after Steve Carrell leaves this spring...I mean...what would be the point?
At least I still love Desperate Housewives, but even that is beginning to show signs of flippers. Creator Marc Cherry said at one time that this would be the show's last season. I hope he's right. The episodes are still hailarious and great and all that and it would be nice to see one good long-running show go out on top.
So, alas, I had to take The Office off my favorites list on Facebook. So it goes.
Happy viewing, kiddies!
Sunday, October 31, 2010
it was a dark and stormy walmart...
welcome to walmart...deck your halls with these glorious balls...
attention walmart shoppers...we now have an opening in the zipper department...
welcome to walmart...where only the most discriminating hobgoblins shop...
welcome to walmart...we would sell blow jobs but it's kinda hard to run em under the scanner...
welcome to walmart...christmas this already, bitch!
welcome to walmart...roll back and ride the donkey, baby...woo hoo!
welcome to walmart...come...let's get a little crazy with the loose underwear...
welcome to walmart...i have a nice little pink tree here for ya just all lit up and festive...
Saturday, October 30, 2010
jesus jammies
i snuggle in
my little bed
with praying hands
above my head
i count sheep and
little lambies
and on my back...
jesus jammies...
and into dreams
i do fall fast
of holy men
from ages past
the bible pounds
their stories well
you mess with us
ya go to hell!
i scrub myself
in blessed bath
for a clean boy
incurs no wrath
so clean of thought
and pure of mind
a glowing face
squeaky behind...
and of my sins
i know not one
no drinks no sex
no madcap fun
i turn my nose
up at such rot
i'm so pristine
no sign of snot!
i do not judge
you for your sins
but play such games
the devil wins!
i'll greet you with
a big old frown
pray for your soul
so upside down...
for can't you see
my halo bright?
my hair it glows
in pristine light
i am but man
yes this is true
humble yet much
better than you...
and so i show
my upper hand
turns you away
from all so grand
all jesus knows
i'm not quite sure
this i gather
he loves the pure!
though the good book
i never read
i keep it close
next to my bed
and spout its words
way out of text
"at heaven's gate
you won't be next!"
so let me sleep
while you just burn
for fools like you
will never learn
of those so picked
not lost lambies
so safe here in
our jesus jammies!
my little bed
with praying hands
above my head
i count sheep and
little lambies
and on my back...
jesus jammies...
and into dreams
i do fall fast
of holy men
from ages past
the bible pounds
their stories well
you mess with us
ya go to hell!
i scrub myself
in blessed bath
for a clean boy
incurs no wrath
so clean of thought
and pure of mind
a glowing face
squeaky behind...
and of my sins
i know not one
no drinks no sex
no madcap fun
i turn my nose
up at such rot
i'm so pristine
no sign of snot!
i do not judge
you for your sins
but play such games
the devil wins!
i'll greet you with
a big old frown
pray for your soul
so upside down...
for can't you see
my halo bright?
my hair it glows
in pristine light
i am but man
yes this is true
humble yet much
better than you...
and so i show
my upper hand
turns you away
from all so grand
all jesus knows
i'm not quite sure
this i gather
he loves the pure!
though the good book
i never read
i keep it close
next to my bed
and spout its words
way out of text
"at heaven's gate
you won't be next!"
so let me sleep
while you just burn
for fools like you
will never learn
of those so picked
not lost lambies
so safe here in
our jesus jammies!
Friday, October 29, 2010
jack strikes back...
hello there halloweenies! the last pumpkins i posted on here didn't quite make it till halloween, what with all the rain and stuff we've been having (nobody likes a soggy jack), so i carved some more....
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
warts and all
i am a toad
with warts and all
my croak is loud
my size quite small
low to the ground
harder to fall
eating some flies
having a ball
you look at me
you don't see much
small blob of goo
no hair and such
leathery face
scarey to touch
monster am i?
your heart you clutch
beauty i ain't
you go by looks
won't see my face
in beauty books
see my crannies
between the nooks
kiss me you won't
contempt it cooks
shoo me away
with your big broom
scream and holler
impending doom
oh pretty one
i'm not your groom?
try and smash me
resounding boom
i hop away
into tall grass
rocks you do throw
like broken glass
i have no cash
simply no class
one such as me
surely you'll pass!
hide neath your house
so dark and deep
croak rather loud
you try to sleep
into slumber
i slowly creep
into your dreams
i prowl and peep
you wake in sweat
croak at the night
cry in your bed
flip on the light
in your mirror
is such a fright
stands there a toad
beautiful sight!
how'd this happen?
how can this be
now you're a toad
something to see
with warts and all
forget beauty
now wish you were
nicer to me?
with warts and all
my croak is loud
my size quite small
low to the ground
harder to fall
eating some flies
having a ball
you look at me
you don't see much
small blob of goo
no hair and such
leathery face
scarey to touch
monster am i?
your heart you clutch
beauty i ain't
you go by looks
won't see my face
in beauty books
see my crannies
between the nooks
kiss me you won't
contempt it cooks
shoo me away
with your big broom
scream and holler
impending doom
oh pretty one
i'm not your groom?
try and smash me
resounding boom
i hop away
into tall grass
rocks you do throw
like broken glass
i have no cash
simply no class
one such as me
surely you'll pass!
hide neath your house
so dark and deep
croak rather loud
you try to sleep
into slumber
i slowly creep
into your dreams
i prowl and peep
you wake in sweat
croak at the night
cry in your bed
flip on the light
in your mirror
is such a fright
stands there a toad
beautiful sight!
how'd this happen?
how can this be
now you're a toad
something to see
with warts and all
forget beauty
now wish you were
nicer to me?
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
who am i?
This is just a little something I wrote for my therapist. It's a little bit personal but not real personal so I thought I'd share it here...just to give you all and idea of who I am...and who I wanna be.
And yes...I am getting therapy. I'm a nutty old bird.
Who Am I?
It's such a crazy question. I mean...how could I ever possibly know? I mean...do I ever really see myself? All I can ever really see is a reflection of myself in a mirror. And mirrors, as we all know, are full of illusions. So much sleight of hand can take place in the depth of a reflection.
I can tell you what I do know from what I see around me and from what so many people have told me and continue to tell me about myself. My name is Mark and apparently, I'm 47 years old...going on 48 very soon. I'm tall...people seem to comment on that a lot (and, no, I don't play basketball). I wear glasses because apparently life is little more than a blur without them. I guess they're supposed to clear things up for me...make things make more sense by bringing them more into focus...yeah...sometimes that kinda sorta works. And that's pretty much it...or at least from what people can deduce about me by just looking at me. I'm some tall white dude with four eyes...thrilling! It doesn't sound like the kind of guy who gets laid very often, does it?
And it doesn't really answer that question of who am I...which brings me to the first point that I'd like to ponder. Maybe who I am actually has nothing to do with what other people see...maybe who I am who I see.
So who do I see...whenever I close my eyes and try to visualize myself (which I gotta tell you, can give you SUCH a headache)...who's in there that makes up this person.
What do I see?
I see a man who is scared...scared of way too much...I'm afraid of my financial situation. I barely squeak by on what I make on a job that many would say was way beneath me considering my educational background and alleged intellect. So why do I do it? Why do I not pursue an actual career in an actual field that I can believe in. Again...fear rears its ugly head...fear of rejection...fear of exposing myself...wearing my heart on my sleeve...putting my whole soul out there on the line to bleed across the universe...only to be mocked and told that I am wasting my time and that I am just not good enough...just not good enough...but who, really decides if I'm good enough...them or me? The answer is probably me. So why don't I think I'm good enough?
Such a can of worms this question opens...the only playbook I have for my future is my past...and let's face it...I pretty much botched that up. I've alienated myself from my family, friends (what friends I had), my place of birth...everything pretty much.
There's so many things that I've run away from in my life because of fear...so many jobs...relationships...chances at happiness...running was always the answer. Running is less painful than standing up and fighting for what it is that I really want. Or is it? Running makes one tired...and anxious and very very sore...especially when you've run as long and as far as I have...
After running for so long, though...your feet tend to grow numb...you can feel the throbbing through your shoes even though the sting, after a certain amount of time and diversion, is a lot less potent. And so you develop a certain comfort with the race...even though you know somewhere deep inside where you never really want to look for fear of fear, that it's killing you.
And I don't really wanna die. I don't. I want to beat all these feelings that keep from pursuing the many things I need to pursue for an actual attempt as happiness in life. I just don't know how...or if I have the strength anymore. I'm not a young thing. The idealism and the optimism don't flow as easily as they once did.
But they need to...
Why? Because that's who I am at my very core...the eternal optimist and idealist...a person who wants to walk in broad daylight and take in all the sights and sounds around me and feel refreshed by them...rejuvenated...inspired. I want to paint my world over with a magic brush and make it all such a happy place full of love and understanding and acceptance...and music. If I had my way, my whole life would be a big splashy Broadway musical with folks singing and dancing everywhere...living a life so free from such chains as war, illness, famine, poverty, disability...fear of death.
And I wish I could fly through this big and beautiful world and soar up through the sun and back again bouncing off rainbow and splashing into bubbling and cool blue water.
That's the place where I want to be...a place where everyone can be exactly who they need to be...free from sadness, frustration...and fear...
But people don't exactly make this world possible, do they...everyone seems to love their little miseries. I don't understand this. I've never understood this...and I've never tolerated it very well. In fact, it has upset me so much at times that I've made attempts to leave this world just to get away from all this despair. I'm over that now. I don't want to harm myself looking for a quick exit but, I must say...some days...although I would never harm or kill myself, I do wish I could just dissolve or something, pianlessly from this plane...without any remnants left of me...for anyone else to deal with just dissapear. Yes...that Mark...he was a nice guy when he was here...and now he's gone...but that's okay...because he felt no pain.
But I don't feel like that all the time. Most of the time there is some hope...some feeling that I'm here for a very good reason and I need to see that through...find out what that reason is...make it happen...find out who I actually am.
For right now, who I am is a work in progress. And I do need a lot of work. But hey...I gotta be that eternal optimist that I know I am and sort away through all the muck to find my own little musical...my own happy little life. I will be happy...I do know that...and I will find my peace.
So then...who are you?
And yes...I am getting therapy. I'm a nutty old bird.
Who Am I?
It's such a crazy question. I mean...how could I ever possibly know? I mean...do I ever really see myself? All I can ever really see is a reflection of myself in a mirror. And mirrors, as we all know, are full of illusions. So much sleight of hand can take place in the depth of a reflection.
I can tell you what I do know from what I see around me and from what so many people have told me and continue to tell me about myself. My name is Mark and apparently, I'm 47 years old...going on 48 very soon. I'm tall...people seem to comment on that a lot (and, no, I don't play basketball). I wear glasses because apparently life is little more than a blur without them. I guess they're supposed to clear things up for me...make things make more sense by bringing them more into focus...yeah...sometimes that kinda sorta works. And that's pretty much it...or at least from what people can deduce about me by just looking at me. I'm some tall white dude with four eyes...thrilling! It doesn't sound like the kind of guy who gets laid very often, does it?
And it doesn't really answer that question of who am I...which brings me to the first point that I'd like to ponder. Maybe who I am actually has nothing to do with what other people see...maybe who I am who I see.
So who do I see...whenever I close my eyes and try to visualize myself (which I gotta tell you, can give you SUCH a headache)...who's in there that makes up this person.
What do I see?
I see a man who is scared...scared of way too much...I'm afraid of my financial situation. I barely squeak by on what I make on a job that many would say was way beneath me considering my educational background and alleged intellect. So why do I do it? Why do I not pursue an actual career in an actual field that I can believe in. Again...fear rears its ugly head...fear of rejection...fear of exposing myself...wearing my heart on my sleeve...putting my whole soul out there on the line to bleed across the universe...only to be mocked and told that I am wasting my time and that I am just not good enough...just not good enough...but who, really decides if I'm good enough...them or me? The answer is probably me. So why don't I think I'm good enough?
Such a can of worms this question opens...the only playbook I have for my future is my past...and let's face it...I pretty much botched that up. I've alienated myself from my family, friends (what friends I had), my place of birth...everything pretty much.
There's so many things that I've run away from in my life because of fear...so many jobs...relationships...chances at happiness...running was always the answer. Running is less painful than standing up and fighting for what it is that I really want. Or is it? Running makes one tired...and anxious and very very sore...especially when you've run as long and as far as I have...
After running for so long, though...your feet tend to grow numb...you can feel the throbbing through your shoes even though the sting, after a certain amount of time and diversion, is a lot less potent. And so you develop a certain comfort with the race...even though you know somewhere deep inside where you never really want to look for fear of fear, that it's killing you.
And I don't really wanna die. I don't. I want to beat all these feelings that keep from pursuing the many things I need to pursue for an actual attempt as happiness in life. I just don't know how...or if I have the strength anymore. I'm not a young thing. The idealism and the optimism don't flow as easily as they once did.
But they need to...
Why? Because that's who I am at my very core...the eternal optimist and idealist...a person who wants to walk in broad daylight and take in all the sights and sounds around me and feel refreshed by them...rejuvenated...inspired. I want to paint my world over with a magic brush and make it all such a happy place full of love and understanding and acceptance...and music. If I had my way, my whole life would be a big splashy Broadway musical with folks singing and dancing everywhere...living a life so free from such chains as war, illness, famine, poverty, disability...fear of death.
And I wish I could fly through this big and beautiful world and soar up through the sun and back again bouncing off rainbow and splashing into bubbling and cool blue water.
That's the place where I want to be...a place where everyone can be exactly who they need to be...free from sadness, frustration...and fear...
But people don't exactly make this world possible, do they...everyone seems to love their little miseries. I don't understand this. I've never understood this...and I've never tolerated it very well. In fact, it has upset me so much at times that I've made attempts to leave this world just to get away from all this despair. I'm over that now. I don't want to harm myself looking for a quick exit but, I must say...some days...although I would never harm or kill myself, I do wish I could just dissolve or something, pianlessly from this plane...without any remnants left of me...for anyone else to deal with just dissapear. Yes...that Mark...he was a nice guy when he was here...and now he's gone...but that's okay...because he felt no pain.
But I don't feel like that all the time. Most of the time there is some hope...some feeling that I'm here for a very good reason and I need to see that through...find out what that reason is...make it happen...find out who I actually am.
For right now, who I am is a work in progress. And I do need a lot of work. But hey...I gotta be that eternal optimist that I know I am and sort away through all the muck to find my own little musical...my own happy little life. I will be happy...I do know that...and I will find my peace.
So then...who are you?
the haunts inside this house...
the floorboards scream
as the echos
bounce their woeful mourn
way up through the rafters
my feet try to tread lightly
it's an old place
a dark place
plenty of history
the years measured in cobwebs
and the intensity
of the stench
of a home long since abandoned
all cold now
on such a crisp autumn day
as brittle red and orange leaves
fly through broken windows
and land on the stained wooden planks
the floorboards of life
the foundation of death
i can see my breath now
as i muddle through
searching...always searching
for answers to questions
that most sane people stopped asking
a long time ago
a large black rat
screeches across the room
and hides behind tattered gray curtains
the furniture waterlogged
from the many storms
that snuck their way inside
so much lightning flashes
in a thunderous night
i have my little light
to bounce across the walls
at all the old paintings
of all the old people
with their big wet eyes
fixed upon me
i pull my coat in
just a little tighter
around my neck
as i shudder
i don't know
the whole story
only bits and pieces
are what remains
little electromagnetic
calling cards
tipping me off
to the intensity
of what might have been
on such a dark night
when the fireplace mantle
now so dusty and black
once lit up the whole room
with such a powerful glow
if i stand really still
i can hear the crying
of a little girl
and i can feel her little fingers
tugging at my hand
humming "come with me...
let me show you what they've done..."
sometimes in the dark corners
i can make out her form
playing with the bouncing light
trying to regain just an ounce
of a childhood
that was stolen from her
a long long time ago
there are others here too
though they don't speak
they just tower over me
breathing down my neck
smelling like stale smoke
in a burned out old parlour
the girl tries to hide from them
asking me to never tell
to never ever reveal
things best left unspoken
and i do just as she says
for i must protect her
for she was once my child
back when i was once actually alive
a luxury she lacks as well
now we just dance around
a forgotten old house
forever escaping the demons
and playing
catching just a glimmer of joy
somewhere just outside...
little patches of light
as the echos
bounce their woeful mourn
way up through the rafters
my feet try to tread lightly
it's an old place
a dark place
plenty of history
the years measured in cobwebs
and the intensity
of the stench
of a home long since abandoned
all cold now
on such a crisp autumn day
as brittle red and orange leaves
fly through broken windows
and land on the stained wooden planks
the floorboards of life
the foundation of death
i can see my breath now
as i muddle through
searching...always searching
for answers to questions
that most sane people stopped asking
a long time ago
a large black rat
screeches across the room
and hides behind tattered gray curtains
the furniture waterlogged
from the many storms
that snuck their way inside
so much lightning flashes
in a thunderous night
i have my little light
to bounce across the walls
at all the old paintings
of all the old people
with their big wet eyes
fixed upon me
i pull my coat in
just a little tighter
around my neck
as i shudder
i don't know
the whole story
only bits and pieces
are what remains
little electromagnetic
calling cards
tipping me off
to the intensity
of what might have been
on such a dark night
when the fireplace mantle
now so dusty and black
once lit up the whole room
with such a powerful glow
if i stand really still
i can hear the crying
of a little girl
and i can feel her little fingers
tugging at my hand
humming "come with me...
let me show you what they've done..."
sometimes in the dark corners
i can make out her form
playing with the bouncing light
trying to regain just an ounce
of a childhood
that was stolen from her
a long long time ago
there are others here too
though they don't speak
they just tower over me
breathing down my neck
smelling like stale smoke
in a burned out old parlour
the girl tries to hide from them
asking me to never tell
to never ever reveal
things best left unspoken
and i do just as she says
for i must protect her
for she was once my child
back when i was once actually alive
a luxury she lacks as well
now we just dance around
a forgotten old house
forever escaping the demons
and playing
catching just a glimmer of joy
somewhere just outside...
little patches of light
Monday, October 25, 2010
disclaimers, book two...
disclaimer: tweeting with whispurr can get sticky and slippery at times...
disclaimer: tweeting with whispurr is no substitute for a nice hard salami...
disclaimer: the "o"s in whispurr's tweets are probably too small to be used for cock rings...
disclaimer: tweeting with whispurr should never be used in place of an enema...
disclaimer: tweeting with whispurr is rarely a watersport...
disclaimer: tweeing with whispurr will not get you your own cbs television series...
disclaimer: if tweeting with whispurr causes a rash, man up already!
disclaimer: tweeting with whispurr can be hard on the gums...
disclaimer: tweeting with whispurr is almost as jerky as wacking off...
disclaimer: tweeting with whispurr may land you in the pokey...
disclaimer: tweeting is whispurr is something your mother would never approve of...
disclaimer: tweeting with whispurr can cause odd pubic hair growth...
disclaimer: tweeting with whispurr will not get you into the college of your choice...
disclaimer: tweeting with whispurr is a lot like a good healthy slap...
disclaimer: tweeting with whispurr is a lot like licking a tutti frutti ice cream cone...
disclaimer: it's always best to wrap a condom around the phone before tweeting with whispurr...
disclaimer: tweeting with whispurr is tastier with jelly
Friday, October 22, 2010
get yet jack on...
and here you have it...the whispurr jack-o-lanterns for 2010...you know whispurr...all about the jack...
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